Relapse: Return to Treatment
I had a dream a few nights ago that I was on a ship docked in a harbor. It was an overcast morning. I was leaning on the railing, watching other ships passing through the harbor as I waited for us to embark. Suddenly, a ship across the way overturned and sank. As the passengers near me on the deck began to panic, the crew assured us that everything was fine and told us to stay calm. It’s better to remain where we are, they said. But I became terrified that our ship was about to go down, too. So, I turned and ran, determined to find a way off. It’s not uncommon for me to dream...
Read MoreMoney, Power, and Eating Disorder Justice
I’m a bit late in writing this, as it has been an up-and-down sort of week. Better late than never, right? Last Wednesday I had the totally awesome experience of joining members of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) for Mental Health Matters Day in Albany. We met with legislators and their staff to advocate on behalf of important eating disorder issues, especially matters of justice and accessing treatment. Specifically, we were asking 1) to help close the gap between so-called mental health parity justice and what insurers REALLY end up covering for mental health (i.e., not...
Read MoreHow Stigma Keeps Us Sick
Stigma. It exists and it impacts all of us who are affected by mental illness. I’m sure this isn’t new information, but a reminder now and then about the dangers of stigma doesn’t hurt. Plus, I’m feeling rather irate after the week I’ve just had. As you might know from reading my last few posts, my battle against Blue Cross Blue Shield, thankfully, ended well. Ultimately, I got (mostly) what I needed: I was granted 10 more days in treatment. But it came at a cost. During my week without treatment, my eating disorder was constantly at my heels. In order to build my case...
Read MorePatient Advocacy: Winning the Battle Against Blue Cross Blue Shield
As much as I don’t want to spend another minute on this topic, I think it’s necessary to talk about this last week and what has happened with Blue Cross Blue Shield. Let’s put the happy ending of the story first: I won my battle with Blue Cross Blue Shield and was able to return to treatment as of last night. I have learned two things from the experience of successfully going up against my insurance company on my own: It is possible to reverse an insurance company’s decision. They bank on most people giving up after the first few “no’s,” so you just have to make sure to push them far enough....
Read MoreAn Eater’s Agreement
Yesterday I turned 26. Being a pretty sentimental person, birthdays for me are always cause for reflection — I take stock of the last year, of the last decade, and of my life up to this point. I thought about where I was and what I was doing one year ago on my 25th birthday, just two months away from starting down the road to recovery (although I didn’t know that yet). I remember being on the train to Pennsylvania to visit my mother. I was reading the final pages of Carolyn Costin’s book 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder. At the end of the book were examples from something Carolyn...
Read More
