Feeling Overwhelmed—And a Whole Lot More
I just had “the meeting” with my bosses about leaving again for treatment. They were amazingly supportive, as they’ve always been. As long as no surprises happen on the insurance front, and as long as I’m medically stable enough to be in day treatment, I could start at Monte Nido as soon as Thursday. I got a bit weepy talking to my bosses about the situation, which is very unusual for me. I suppose I’m just feeling fragile today. I’m angry at myself for being back in this position. Sad that I’ve caused my husband and loved ones stress and worry....
Read MoreRelapse: Return to Treatment
I had a dream a few nights ago that I was on a ship docked in a harbor. It was an overcast morning. I was leaning on the railing, watching other ships passing through the harbor as I waited for us to embark. Suddenly, a ship across the way overturned and sank. As the passengers near me on the deck began to panic, the crew assured us that everything was fine and told us to stay calm. It’s better to remain where we are, they said. But I became terrified that our ship was about to go down, too. So, I turned and ran, determined to find a way off. It’s not uncommon for me to dream...
Read MoreEnding Treatment, Sink or Swim
Yesterday was my final night of IOP treatment. As of today, I’m a free woman. (Well, other than the thrice-weekly outpatient services that I’ll be doing for the foreseeable future…) As you know from my earlier post, this was technically the second time that I was graduating from Monte Nido. The two departures were, of course, quite different. The first time I left kicking and screaming; this time, I chose to leave. Then, I left with a fight in me; last night, I left with acceptance. I still have further to go in treatment, and I am by no means recovered yet, but I recognize and accept that...
Read MoreLeaving Treatment: Am I Ready?
I wrote in a recent post that after winning the battle against Blue Cross Blue Shield, I was given ten more days in intensive outpatient (IOP) treatment. These ten days were a gift. I’d been cut off so suddenly that I hadn’t had any time to make an after-care plan with my treatment team. Now, I had the opportunity to tie up loose ends and start thinking about life after treatment. And that’s what I opted to do. From the start, I decided to use my remaining days to transition out of treatment and back into my full-time. I have two days left and then, ready or not, I will...
Read MorePatient Advocacy: Winning the Battle Against Blue Cross Blue Shield
As much as I don’t want to spend another minute on this topic, I think it’s necessary to talk about this last week and what has happened with Blue Cross Blue Shield. Let’s put the happy ending of the story first: I won my battle with Blue Cross Blue Shield and was able to return to treatment as of last night. I have learned two things from the experience of successfully going up against my insurance company on my own: It is possible to reverse an insurance company’s decision. They bank on most people giving up after the first few “no’s,” so you just have to make sure to push them far enough....
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