– Treatment Update 2: Hiatus –
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I returned to an intensive outpatient (IOP) treatment program at Monte Nido at the end of August. I had been starting to struggle again since finishing a different program at the end of June, so I felt I needed to return to an intensive program and pick up where I left off, rather than wait for things to get worse. It turns out that returning to IOP was exactly what I needed. The program at Monte Nido is phenomenal — the staff are genuine, the patients are motivated, and the environment as a whole is very positive and encouraging. One of the things I...
Read MoreWhat Does Recovery Feel Like?
“Recovery often seemed to us like the Polaris: We saw that it existed, and we kept our eyes fixed on its steady light, but no matter how long we trekked through the dark, it seemed to never draw closer.” It wasn’t the first time this worry had come up. On the verge of tears, Eileen confessed in group therapy this weekend that she was beginning to doubt she would ever recover from her long history of an eating disorder. She had been assured over and over again that recovery takes time, but all she felt was defeated. Much like the eating disorder, recovery is both a gradual...
Read MoreNational Suicide Prevention Week: An Open Letter to a Survivor
This week is the 2014 National Suicide Prevention Week. Suicide is a topic that has been hitting home lately, having experienced three brushes with suicide among friends and acquaintances this year, two of which were successful. Suicide is a difficult topic to talk about, because it spotlights what most of us try to run from — our mortality. For me, trying to fathom the literally unimaginable moment I cease to exist brings up something akin to horror. To then grapple with the startling truth that we each have the capacity (and occasionally the impulse) to deliberately launch ourselves into...
Read MoreAUDIO: The Online Evolution of Pro-Ana
“This is the story of one lonely young girl who used the Internet to get better at starving herself behind her family’s back, and the online moment that changed her course to recovery.” About a month ago, I posted about the “pro-ana” phenomenon (which, along with “pro-mia” refers to anything promotes eating disorders). Pro-ana groups are online communities that insist eating disorders are lifestyle choices, not deadly mental illnesses. Pro-ana moderators host discussion forums in which members openly discuss their eating disorder behaviors,...
Read MoreWhy Grief is Key to the Recovery Process
Those who are recovering from an eating disorder hear often that recovery is a process. When treatment gets tough and recovery seems just out of reach, this can serve as a helpful reminder. When I hear the word process, though, I think of a series of specific steps that must be taken to achieve an end result. As we know, recovery from an eating disorder is anything but orderly. While there are indeed some steps that all recovering individuals must take — for instance, making peace with food, addressing underlying issues, and (in some cases) stabilizing weight — recovery, on the whole, is an...
Read More
I'm a writer, a mental health activist, and a 20-something in recovery from an eating disorder. This blog chronicles my journey through the middle ground toward full recovery.
