Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders

The Phantom Pain of Trauma

Posted by on Feb 16, 2017 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, My Story, New Post | 1 comment

The Phantom Pain of Trauma

Let’s talk about trauma. Not all trauma looks like a war veteran who hits the ground when a car backfires. (Although that is very real and very frightening). Some trauma looks more like scar tissue. Or like a vine that has wrapped around a tree trunk. It grows with you, shapes you, distorts the way you branch out into the world. Over time it becomes a part of you. You barely even feel it anymore. There are only subtle traces of it — maybe a nagging ache in an otherwise happy moment, or a dark thought that surfaces from seemingly nowhere. Not feeling is not the same as healing. It...

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Medication and Eating Disorders: An “Anti” View

Posted by on Jul 5, 2016 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, Insurance Issues, My Story, New Post | 0 comments

Medication and Eating Disorders: An “Anti” View

A diabetic isn’t considered weak for taking insulin. Why am I looked down on for taking medication to help my mind function? The right to take psychiatric medication — without having to justify it — ranks high on the anti-stigma agenda. There is a long way to go in achieving true mental health parity, but the frequency with which I see this particular plug leads me to believe that we’re making headway. So now I ask that same community of mental health advocates to expand your open-mindedness in yet another direction: my right NOT to take medication. Getting On the Medication I began...

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The Medication Game

Posted by on Jun 29, 2016 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, My Story | 0 comments

The Medication Game

I have a longer piece in the works about my thoughts on psychiatric medication. The delay is due to the fact that I have a lot of thoughts on this topic, and I’m trying to pare them down from well over 2,000 words. While editing continues on that front, I thought I’d share a prologue of sorts. The following is a journal entry I’d written months ago and just recently stumbled upon again. I would say the timing is uncanny, given the other post I’m working on, but it’s not really a coincidence when the dice seems to be weighted on this genre of thoughts. The bias regarding medication here...

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Yes, Recovery Really Does Get Better

Posted by on May 11, 2016 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, My Story | 5 comments

Yes, Recovery Really Does Get Better

Pushing Through the Final Phases of Recovery I haven’t written in a while, you might have noticed. I relapsed, and I was too ashamed to admit it here. It was a quick, steep backslide, and the trigger was very specific: I weighed myself. I went home for Christmas and encountered a scale. I thought I could handle the number. I couldn’t. I freaked out. My nutritionist dissected my meal plan in order to show me I wasn’t eating excessive amounts. We discussed the natural fluctuation in weight that bodies undergo. We even discussed weight loss and how it’s not necessarily eating disordered for...

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This is Anorexia

Posted by on Mar 17, 2016 in EDs and the Media, Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders | 1 comment

This is Anorexia

Oh, celebrity anorexia rumors… they never stop. As I was researching the relationship between eating disorders and social media for a conference I’m presenting at in May, I stumbled upon a rather abhorrent story called “18 Anorexic THIN Celebrities That Need a Few Big Macs!” (For obvious reasons, I’m not linking to it. But the website is called Juicy Celeb, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know.) It’s so frighteningly off-base that it’s not worth the effort it would take to even begin correcting it. I only just had the energy to...

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What an Eating Disorder in Recovery Sounds Like

Posted by on Mar 4, 2016 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, My Story, NEDAwareness Week 2016 | 18 comments

What an Eating Disorder in Recovery Sounds Like

Wait… You’re not over that eating disorder yet? During National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDAwareness), I did a fair amount of preaching to the choir about early intervention. Presumably, some of it reached the general public, but since the overwhelming majority of my followers — if not all of them — are people who have been affected in some way by eating disorders, most weren’t new to this conversation. That’s not a bad thing. This population needs education and awareness, too. However, a somewhat jarring conversation at work toward the end of NEDAwareness...

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