Posts by middlegroundmusings@gmail.com

So, Um… Where Did Joanna Go? A Return to the Middle Ground

Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in My Story, New Post | Comments Off on So, Um… Where Did Joanna Go? A Return to the Middle Ground

So, Um… Where Did Joanna Go? A Return to the Middle Ground

Back to the Blog It has been six months since I last wrote on this blog. The apologist in me wishes I could offer a great story as an explanation, or some resounding justification for my absence. But as with most of life, it was simply a lot of little things that added up. Recovery update first, since that’s what we’re all about in this little corner of the blogosphere. Relative to my own process, I’m doing really well. There have been occasional slip-ups, of course, and my mind is still not the friendliest place to live in, but by and large, I am stable. What has been...

Read More

The Phantom Pain of Trauma

Posted by on Feb 16, 2017 in Ins and Outs of Eating Disorders, My Story, New Post | 1 comment

The Phantom Pain of Trauma

Let’s talk about trauma. Not all trauma looks like a war veteran who hits the ground when a car backfires. (Although that is very real and very frightening). Some trauma looks more like scar tissue. Or like a vine that has wrapped around a tree trunk. It grows with you, shapes you, distorts the way you branch out into the world. Over time it becomes a part of you. You barely even feel it anymore. There are only subtle traces of it — maybe a nagging ache in an otherwise happy moment, or a dark thought that surfaces from seemingly nowhere. Not feeling is not the same as healing. It...

Read More

Three Years in Recovery, and My Remarks from NEDA 2016

Posted by on Dec 12, 2016 in My Story, New Post | Comments Off on Three Years in Recovery, and My Remarks from NEDA 2016

Three Years in Recovery, and My Remarks from NEDA 2016

Three Years in Recovery Yesterday was my “re-birthday.” That was the term a friend used recently to describe the anniversary of the day she entered treatment and began the process of recovery. Three years ago yesterday — December 11 — I entered treatment at the Renfrew Center in New York City for the anorexia and accompanying mental health issues that had gone undiagnosed for more than a decade. Those early days were disorienting. I remember how numb I was when I left my intake assessment. I arrived thinking I needed a nutritionist, and left having been told I needed intensive treatment —...

Read More

An Eating Disorder Survivor’s Response to Trump

Posted by on Nov 11, 2016 in EDs and the Media, My Story, New Post | Comments Off on An Eating Disorder Survivor’s Response to Trump

An Eating Disorder Survivor’s Response to Trump

 The Election of Trump It has been a while since I’ve written. I had a post ready to go explaining my absence, which has been largely due to a new job with ample responsibilities and challenges. But then Tuesday happened, and suddenly my own travails lost their significance to me. There is little else I’ve been able to think about besides the savagely disappointing loss we experienced on Election Day. I was ill prepared for the actuality of a Trump presidency, and even less so for the grief that followed. I understand the political and intellectual ramifications of Tuesday’s outcome, but I...

Read More

Fitness Models: The New “Anorexic Chic”?

Posted by on Jul 31, 2016 in EDs and the Media, New Post | 3 comments

Fitness Models: The New “Anorexic Chic”?

The danger here is that unlike photoshopped models, fitness stars tell you that what they have is real, and that you could—no, you should—achieve it, too I was always “the thin one.” I spent more than a decade wavering between being underweight and being anorexic. Naturally, people just assumed that my body type was slender and somewhat frail. “You look like a model,” people would tell me. More than once, a stranger approached me on the street or in a cafe to ask if I was a ballerina. (Perhaps it is only in New York City that someone would a) care if they...

Read More